Did someone slip me an Ambien?

I've had such a great week. Work has been going well. It's flat out, people still shit me to tears, and my higher-duties contract still runs out at the end of the month, but I am really enjoying my job for the first time in ages.

But love-life wise, things are even better. I had a second date on Tuesday night that went very very well. Good pizza, great conversation and some mad teenage pashing in the car afterwards. So I've been fairly floating on air for the most of the week, with a third date set up for Friday evening.

Friday night was pretty much unplanned and just completely laid back. Met him in the Elephant & Wheelbarrow's new beer garden in the Valley, after he had been to a party. I met his housemate (who's a great laugh) and a couple of his friends. We stayed for a couple of drinks before we left for some private time.

No further details will be divulged.

I was fairly tired when he dropped me home the next morning, so after I had some breakfast and chatted to Paulie, my housemate for a bit, I decided to head upstairs to my room for a Nana nap.

I woke up 5 hours later, with all the pillow cases stripped (nothing unusual for me, especially if you've read this post), but I also discovered that I was chewing gum. Now I'm pretty sure I wasn't chewing anything before I went to bed and I remember brushing my teeth. So out of all the strange things I've done in my sleep, that has to be the weirdest fucking thing ever.

The scariest part is, I don't where I got the gum from. I didn't have any on my bedside table, or on my book shelf, where I usually stash all the items from my pockets after a night out. My work bag was in my room, but there wasn't a pack in there. In fact, I couldn't find any form of gum packaging any where in my room. So where the fuck did this gum in my mouth come from?

After that thought, I immediately spat it out. God... I don't know what it was if it wasn't chewing gum.

Gentlemen, please cross your legs in advance...

From The Brisbane Times, this story makes my eyes water;

"A man whose penis met an ill fate with a grinder in Brisbane's north this afternoon has been rushed to hospital.

It is understood the 23-year-old was working in Northgate when he was injured just after 2pm.
A Department of Emergency Services spokeswoman could not identify the type of grinder that had injured the man or detail how he came in contact with the device.

Although the extent of his injuries is not known, paramedics who treated the man at the scene were able to stem the bleeding."

How the hell does that happen? Was he grinding with a massive erection? Was he grinding in the nude? Did he just happen to slip and ended up with an operational angle grinder shredding his pants and his cock? Do you reckon he and a mate were daring each other to see how close they could get to their groin without actually cutting themselves?

I want answers people...

What a tragic weekend...

What a horrible weekend for Victoria - they have experienced the worst bush fires in Australia's history.

128 people are already confirmed dead, with predictions of up to 230 fatalities, as more buildings and cars are searched and recovered.

750 homes have destroyed, leaving thousands homeless.

Several towns have been completely wiped out. Every house, every building completely destroyed.

A very sad day.

(Pic from news.com.au)

I like my steak a bit more well done thank you...

Ahhh, the Cairns Post. Where would I be without their ever growing stable of pictures of snakes and spiders eating birds?

Well here is this month's, strange animal picture from the North Queensland daily;

Apparently this poor cow was struck by lightning sometime in December. I'm not sure how the animal survived as that looks like a fairly horrible wound.

A James Cook University professor has confirmed that a lightning strike could possibly have caused the damage.

I certainly hope it was a lightning bolt that did that damage. I would hate to think that a person inflicted that sort of thing on an animal.

My poofter-verse just got really really small.

Now listen closely boys and girls. I'm not going to to repeat myself;

I went on a date on Thursday night with a man who's ex-boyfriend I dated for about a week this time last year, who had a fling with his housemate who happens to be my new housemate's good mate who just broke up with the man I went on a date with on Thursday night.

Got it? No.

Ok, here it is again.

My date - broke up with his BF in Feb last year, and his BF decided to use me as a rebound fling.

Rebound boy used to shag his housemate before he met my date.

The housemate is actually a good friend of my new housemate.

The housemate (not my housemate) just broke up with my date from Thursday night a week before I had the date.

Confusing? Yes.

To add to the mix - I was also chatting with a guy on line who was going out with my new house mate's other good mate (who also lives in the same complex as me) and got dumped the day before I moved in.

My head hurts.

Wetter than a Nun's panties at a Manpower show...

After Sunday's bitch of a storm you'd think things couldn't get any worse for Brisbane.

WRONG.

Another storm hit last night and we got between 200ml and 2500ml of rain in a two hour period... that's fucking insane.

Flooding is rife at the moment with lots of major road ways are closed. This is the Inner City Bypass (ICB) tunnel... completely flooded;

So they've shut down the entire ICB, as well as parts of the Ipswich Motorway, the Centenary Highway, and the Warrego Highway.

Train lines are fucked too with major land slips around several stations, so they are using buses to carry people... along the highways that are shut.

They have also shut the King George Square Bus Station - Brissie's newest and biggest bus station cause of water damage too.

Now they have issued flood alerts for several rivers too.

The bad news.. more storms predicted for this afternoon, and the rest of the week.

Fuck. Better buy a boat.

(Pic from the Courier Mail)

Just a spot of rain...

I love storms and holy shit, didn't we get a big one in Brissie yesterday afternoon? It was unbearably hot and muggy all day and you just knew there was going to be some action in the afternoon.

And it was a doozy... lots and lots of lightning and thunder, hail (from the greenest sky I have ever seen) and wind, loads of loads of wind.

We had no damage to our place - except the wind came in horizontally and some how managed to wet the ceilings in the toilet and the laundry.

Here are some pics I stole from The Courier Mail;

Not sure where this one was taken... just says "South of Brisbane" prior to the storm front hitting.
Lightning hitting the suburb of Milton - that's the Castlemain Perkins Brewery (home of XXXX) looking like it got hit.

Another shot of Milton - but you can see three, possibly four lightning strikes in this shot.

This is a shot of a massive tree fall from The Gap. With Brisbane being in drought for so long, a lot of the old trees have been weakened and diseased, and many went down last night. The Gap was hit hardest and there are so many trees blocking roads that they've cancelled all bus services this morning.

And finally, the Channel 7 studios up on Mt Coot-Tha had the roof blown off and water bucketed through the place.

Bring on summer and more rain and storms... just not as destructive as this one please.

There was once an old lady who swallowed a fly...

WARNING - If the mere mention of snakes or spiders makes you sweat and shake, then this post will not do you any favours.

The Cairns Post has recently had some really freaky picture submissions from readers of nature doing what nature does best. Killing other living things.

Picture 1 - A python snuck up on a sulphur crested cockatoo and smothered it, before eating it whole;

That's pretty fucking freaky if you ask me. But this second picture really gives me the heebee- jeebies. - A spider catches and eats a whole fucking bird;

This is a Golden Orb Spider, and would be the size of a human hand. A HUMAN FUCKING HAND? Holy shit. I have small, girly hands and the thought of a spider that big crawling on me makes me want to vomit, but what if they measure it against someone with gigantic hands? Greg had really big hands that completely dwarfed mine. That spider could by fucking gigantic.

Snakes I can cope with - sure it would scare the shit out of me if I looked up and saw one in the mango tree, but spiders do tend to freak me out. Especially when I walk into a web in the dark and I can't see the spider and I can't tell how big it was, and is it in my hair now? And what if it's as big as a human fucking hand?

Getitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetifoff!!!

Ugh... this is making me feel sick.

Going in or coming out?

Not quite sure what is going on in this picture, but it makes me glad to have an office job.

(Pic from Dlisted.com)

Time for a trip to Best and Less...

It's been a while since I posted any pics of near nude men, so here's a nice one for you all;

Those naughty Italian rugby players sure like to hang about suspiciously close to each in next to nothing

D&G undies... do you think Best and Less sell them?

God is one angry bitch...

What a fantastic shot of an electrical storm over a volcano in China. So much power and potential destruction in that cloud.

Don't piss of God... she's a bitch.

(Pic from news.com.au)

Sweet Zombie Jesus

I'll take two of these monstrosities... the lovely new Quad Stacker from Hungry Jacks.

According to news.com.au it contains one third of the recommended calorie intake for a man, and 50% for women.

All the health food authorities and parents groups have got the major shits over it, but I think it looks like the perfect "I'm trashed at four in the morning lets pick the biggest thing on the menu to make me spew in the car park" burger.

Better give me a diet coke to drink though... I don't want to ruin my figure.

Can you change a billion?

I really suck at maths. This was proven true when last playing the "New Millennium" Edition of Monopoly where the dollar values have gone up into the millions and I couldn't get my head around getting two million dollars every time you pass go.

So I would probably get short changed a lot if I lived in Zimbabwe.


Yes that man is a holding a $500,000,000 note - that's five hundred million dollars. But joe.my.god reports that as hyperinflation continues to cripple the nation (a loaf of bread costs $25 billion dollars), they are going to start produce $25 billion and $50 billion notes.

The government of Robert Magabe is crippling the African country and revolution is bound to hit sooner rather than later.

Infatuation Calling...

Holy hot quads in short shorts batman! I can't stop looking at the extremely hot Mr Cheyenne Jackson.

He is currently starring in the stage version of "Xanadu" (subtitled - the gayest musical on the planet).

He's done heaps and heaps of stage work (Hair, West Side Story, Rocky Horror Show) and has been nominated for a couple of Tony Awards (theatre's equivalent to the Oscars).

There's also a couple of movies - United 93 (about 9/11) and Curiosity - not seen either of them. Maybe I should just for a perve.

He is also openly gay and single! Oh lordy. Maybe I should embrace my gayness and learn to enjoy the theatre?

Now to clean this drool off my keyboard.

A bit windy love?

This is not photoshopped. This is an actual tornado touching down in Idaho in the US. A local woman managed to cath the picture before running for her life.

Image from joe.my.god.