Head. Going. To. Explode.

Too much "must see TV" to choose from tonight...

The finale of homeMADE....

The hot one won as opposed to the really hot one. That is - Jason Sullivan (below left) wins the series;

When it's clear the hotness that is Darren Palmer (below centre) deserved to win;


Of course I have really no idea what their designs actually looked like, so I'm basing my choices on their looks alone. I'm shallow ike that.

Then we have the finale of Australia's Next Top Model Series 5 - I've never seen any of the previous five series before, but got sucked into. The finale came down to the chick with a mouth that looks like a well fisted arsehole, Cassie;


Versus the classic, curvy, well mannered girl who deserves to win - Tahnee.


Thank Christ Tahnee won. A very nice young lady, though the "Curvy" tag is totally undeserved. She's not anorexic, so that makes her fat obviously in the fashion industry.

Then we have the premier of the latest series of Torchwood. For those of you who have no idea, Torchwood is fucking fantastic spin off from Doctor Who (Torchwood is an anagram of Doctor Who... clever hey?) and has more fantastic story telling (no time travel bull shit), and with lots of sexual shenanigans... same sex, bi sex, hetero sex. Lots of man on man kissing.

Loves it.

It stars the very lovely John Barrownman (below centre) - an out Scottish man who married his long time lover not too long ago. And he is rather fetching too.

Watch it... yes it's Sci Fi, but fucking watch it.

Then tomorrow its the premiere of the next season of Project Runway - Fashion designers meets reality TV.

Loves it.

There really hasn't been this much good TV in a long time... I don't think I'll be leaving the house anytime soon.

Bullet points mean never having to construct full sentences

My weekend in bullet points;

• Work drinks Friday night - boozey but not trashed
• Nado's is outrageously expensive - $17 for a burger combo is a rip off no matter how boozey you are
• Home in bed by 11:30pm. Sleeping the sleep of the drunk and horny.
• Saturday shopping excursion - new work shoes, new dressy pink shirt to wear out, new undies
• Early Saturday night drinking with strangers at Fat Louies - met one of my readers and his partner. $3 basic spirits, bad karaoke, lots of fun. Nice guys all round.
• Dinner at Kalibar on the Valley mall - Three cheese pizza, and a cocktail called "The Bad Boy" - just an alcoholic Cherry Ripe. Very yummy.
• Off to the Beat. Already very drunk. Proceed to get drunker.
• Off to the Wickham. Very very drunk by this stage, proceed to get even drunker. Make out with hot guy I used to work with.
• Off to the Monestary. Get bored, go back to the Wickham.
• Pash on with hot work guy again.
• Pash on with tall guy called Guy.
• Pash on with hot work guy.
• Pashing on with both guys until I just got over it and decided to leave.
• Decided that I needed to walk home at 4:00am with no jumper.
• Got to Bowen Hills station and got the first train.
• Slept through my stop.
• Found a great bakery on my trek home that had the best sausage rolls and chicken pie ever.
• Walked in the door at 6:30am.
• Slept until 3:00pm.

I am still feeling the effects today. Want to curl up under my desk, but it ain't gonna happen.

Finally.... someone to blame for all the urine on the floor

Introducing the newest housemate in the poofter townhouse - Miss Poppi;

She pisses all over the floor and chews on the coffee table, but she's fucking cute.

Worst. Resignation. Ever.

This is the weakest reason for resigning I've ever received;

"I have to quit because I got engaged last night and I need to sort things out".

Grow some balls man - if you hate working here, just fucking admit it and quit, don't make up some ridiculous reason for wanting to walk.

Meh - can you tell I'm just loving being back in a management role?

Ummm... it ain't Robert Pattinson

It's been ages since I've looked at my blog stats in Google Analytics, so it was interesting to see that a new referring site has popped up to the top of the list - The Purse Forum - "the Internet's #1 community for handbag lovers and shoulder fashion fetishists!".

Ummmm...

I was a bit confused to see it there, as purses have never been discussed on this blog. Sure, I do carry a man bag with me most days to work, but it's never made it into a blog post before. So I had to do some investigating as to who or what was sending people over to Zeke for handbag related information.

After about an hour trawling through page after page dedicated to the merits of Gucci vs Prada vs Dior vs a steaming pile of dog shit (seriously - who knew there were so many designer purses out there, and that people actually care which is better?), I found a topic discussing Robert Pattinson (you know - the pale looking twink fella from Twilight), and how hot he is (blah). And someone had provided a link to my post on Fernando Verdasco - with the comment "Oh my god I just found the hottest picture of Robert ever".

Seriously, what the fuck?

Just to refresh your memory, this is the very hot Mr Verdasco;

And this is the super-twink Pattinson;

Pattinson reminds me of one of those skinny, malnourished European porn twinks - he just does nothing for me at all.

Now, put Verdasco in a porn, and I'd buy it for sure... straight, gay or bi - it doesn't matter. I'd love to see him in action.

What a revolting development...

It's Saturday afternoon, I'm sprawled out on the man-couch, relaxing and recovering from a hang over. And while I did get drunk, it was a very different night from my usual debauchery-filled booze fests.

I didn't get absolutely trashed on sambucca shots.

I didn't mix my drinks so much I vomit.

I didn't spill booze all over my new white leather shoes.

I didn't smoke a single cigarette.

I didn't send multiple texts to random past hook ups.

I didn't step onto a dance floor.

I didn't pash on with a single bloke.

I didn't stay out till the break of dawn.

Are you as shocked as me?

I was actually home on the couch by 12:30am. I spent very little money, and I can remember every single part of the night.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Have you been drinking?

More Micallef comic genius...

Doing the walk of shame at pride fair...

It's no secret - I like my sex. I'm pretty sure everyone on this planet knows that I have no qualms about going out to a club, finding a man, taking him home and spending several hours performing rectal examinations on each other.

It's wholesome fun for everyone involved!

However there have been a few gentlemen recently who have wanted to take things a bit further than just the one night stand. I'm not talking deep and meaningful relationships after just one shag (well I think one certainly did) but they want to date and get to know me and share and learn all about me and all that crap.

In the past this would have thrilled the absolute hell out of me that a man would actually want to pursue me a bit, and perhaps eventually end up as a, gasp, "boyfriend", but lately these guys just aren't doing it for me on all the levels I need. I'm not talking sexually (well one certainly turned me off- he liked me to gouge my finger nails into his nipples as he reached orgasm. If I drew blood he was extra-happy... yeah that doesn't work for me, sorry), but more on the emotional level. There just hasn't been a great connection with anyone recently. And I think that's what I'm really searching for.

So how do I tell these guys that I'm not interested in taking things further? A quick phone call to say, "It's not you, its me"? God no. I simply disappear from the face of the earth. I stop returning their calls and texts. I delete them from MSN, I block them from Gaydar. I just do the total silent treatment, and pretend like they never existed.

Asshole.

I hate it when blokes do it to me, yet I seem to have fallen into the easy habit of just waiting til they get the hint, then going on my merry way and forgetting they ever existed.

That was until Saturday afternoon when I attended the Birsbane Pride Fair in Musgrave Park. Pretty much every time I turned around there was a man that I had slept with and then stopped talking too standing behind me. It was actually quite embarrassing.

On the front gate was "The Nipple Twister", then in the beer tent I saw "baldy back hair" and he was actually talking to "Priscilla Queen of Retail". Over in the queue for the toilets I saw "Bad in Bed" and then when getting some fairy floss I got served by "Hung Bottom Twink".

And I nodded and smiled at every single one of them.

And it got to me thinking... I have very few gay male friends. Well none really. All of these guys that I have ditched could actually have turned out to be mates, yet I simply push them away and try to avoid them. There are a couple of guys who I do talk to, but they really are ex's and there's always an undercurrent of sexual tension (probably just me being horny). It would be nice to develop a couple of friendships with gay guys that isn't based on alcohol consumption or the fact that we have seen each other naked.

But then again, I struggle to make new friends no matter what their gender or sexual orientation. Apparently I can be a tough nut to crack, and people often think I'm aloof and rude, when really I'm just extremely shy and don't know how to react in certain social situations.

I did have a great day though... mostly spent talking to lesbians. For some reason I get along with them really well.