I want the classics!

I love Kitty Flanagan. I loved her work in the pommy sketch show, um, "The Sketch Show", and this is one of my favourite skits;



It's even funnier in Russian don't you think?

Yes! I would love this man...

I have two new crushes... both thanks to a non-shitty film starring old lesbian-faced Jim Carrey - "Yes Man".

First is the female love interest - Zooey Deschanel;

She's got a great sexy/cute/out there vibe going on in the film. She kind of reminds of Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Stranger Than Fiction" - strong but soft at the same time. If she keeps putting in performances like this, she could very well be another woman I'll turn straight for.

Then there's the "best friend" - Bradley Cooper;

He played the jackass fiance in Wedding Crashers, but in this film he just smoulders. I think there's a bit of a Ralph/Joseph Feinnes vibe going on with him.

Hmmm... shirtless Bradley Cooper.

Overall, its not a bad film to watch. Loads of real LOL moments throughout... its been a long time since I've seen that in a Jim Carey movie.

Stop it woman, you're turning me on.

I have a shocking confession to make. No I don't sell my body on the streets for lines of crack. Nor do I secretly habour a lusting desire for Bert Newton (I hate Bert Newton so much I just want to go and punch him and his entire family right in their flabby jowels).

My shocking secrect is that I want to have Julia Zimero's babies.



Those eyes. Those lips. Those lucious lips encased in beautiful red lipstick. The intellegence. The wit. The bi-lingual tongue.

She just does it for me on sooooo many levels.

Sure, she is a bit of a polarisier. Many people, like my fine self, really dig Julia. Yet, for some strange reason, there are equally as many people who think she's an over blown smart arse bitch.

What is wrong with you people?

So Ms Zimero, you are a select member of the group of women that Benji would turn straight for. With Patience from the Grates and the ever-so-lovely Ms Smack, it's a small but very special group.

I hope you feel proud.

They were looking at me.... with their eyes!

There are some certifiable loonies in all of our lives. Like the whacked-out meth addicts who like to take a shit beside my car in the work car park at West End, or my crazy alcoholic uncle who likes to beat up WWII veterans on Anzac Day eve and then blame Jesus for telling him to do it.

But there is one loony who has been making wild accusations against a lot of fellow bloggers lately that has really got on my nerves. Some weird shit about people's blog titles being linked which means we're all out to subliminally steal her thoughts via some sophisticated wizardry and a conspiracy with Kinko's, the FBI, Michael Jackson's pet monkey and Hilary Clinton's left flap.

Yeah... that's totally believable love.

But the ever-so-loverly Ms Smack has bore the brunt of these farcical stories, so in honour of one of my favourite bloggers, I proudly and loudly declare...


Yes Ms Smack... you have successfully hacked my heart with your rapier wit, and cunning sense of style. If only boobies didn't make me vomit in fear, and fish tacos didn't make me break out in hives, you would be the perfect life partner for me.

Heart you.