Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Stop it woman, you're turning me on.

I have a shocking confession to make. No I don't sell my body on the streets for lines of crack. Nor do I secretly habour a lusting desire for Bert Newton (I hate Bert Newton so much I just want to go and punch him and his entire family right in their flabby jowels).

My shocking secrect is that I want to have Julia Zimero's babies.

Those eyes. Those lips. Those lucious lips encased in beautiful red lipstick. The intellegence. The wit. The bi-lingual tongue.

She just does it for me on sooooo many levels.

Sure, she is a bit of a polarisier. Many people, like my fine self, really dig Julia. Yet, for some strange reason, there are equally as many people who think she's an over blown smart arse bitch.

What is wrong with you people?

So Ms Zimero, you are a select member of the group of women that Benji would turn straight for. With Patience from the Grates and the ever-so-lovely Ms Smack, it's a small but very special group.

I hope you feel proud.


unique_stephen said...

I understand

I'd do her

unique_stephen said...

On second thoughts - I'd do her along way away from other people. Can you imagine the noise she would make.

phishez said...


Its ok if you won't turn straight for me Ben. I have a lovely gay who would.

*waits for Kez to back her up*...

Ben said...

Stephen - she can make as much noise as she lieks, as long as she chucks in some french for me, I'll be a very happy lad.

Phishez - since you cut your hair short I've been grappling with my "lifestyle choice" (as mum calls it), and if I need to go back into the closet so I can make an honest woman of you.

I will turn straight for you baby. I will.

Ms Smack said...

Aw, you can call me Steve if it helps you assimilate to being a straight boy with me :)

Julia is completely foxy.

Ben said...

Steve is far too straight a sounding name (Sorry Stephen) - can I go with something like Tarquil or Fabian?

Ms Smack said...

Honey you can call me anything but ho, and I'd answer.