Monday, November 3, 2008

There was once an old lady who swallowed a fly...

WARNING - If the mere mention of snakes or spiders makes you sweat and shake, then this post will not do you any favours.

The Cairns Post has recently had some really freaky picture submissions from readers of nature doing what nature does best. Killing other living things.

Picture 1 - A python snuck up on a sulphur crested cockatoo and smothered it, before eating it whole;


That's pretty fucking freaky if you ask me. But this second picture really gives me the heebee- jeebies. - A spider catches and eats a whole fucking bird;


This is a Golden Orb Spider, and would be the size of a human hand. A HUMAN FUCKING HAND? Holy shit. I have small, girly hands and the thought of a spider that big crawling on me makes me want to vomit, but what if they measure it against someone with gigantic hands? Greg had really big hands that completely dwarfed mine. That spider could by fucking gigantic.

Snakes I can cope with - sure it would scare the shit out of me if I looked up and saw one in the mango tree, but spiders do tend to freak me out. Especially when I walk into a web in the dark and I can't see the spider and I can't tell how big it was, and is it in my hair now? And what if it's as big as a human fucking hand?

Getitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetifoffgetitoffgetifoff!!!

Ugh... this is making me feel sick.

6 comments:

Ms Smack said...

LMAO @ get it off, get it off LOL

Kezza said...

It's funny, I've always been surrounded by snakes and spiders (I grew up in rural Australia, so duh) and for the most part I'm okay around snakes although I've never really had one sneak up on me, spiders though creep the living hell out of me. I hate walking through webs, I hate their plump hairy bodies, spindley legs and beady eyes.

Fucking gross... thanks for that!

simple simon said...

Time to TFU Benji - toughen the fuck up

jenny b said...

That scares the absoltue crap put of me. Yuck. I don't think I can sleep tonight.

The spider is much worse than the snake

phishez said...

Kez - you made my skin crawl!!!

I want one of those pythons on my balcony. Maybe then the fucking cockatoos would leave my damned strawberries alone!!!!

michael said...

kezza, is this all you do? sit on the internet all day and comment crap on ben's page?

i don't know who's more pathetic. you or ben?