I scored a free ticket to Brisbane's Good Food and Wine Festival on Saturday. It was a great way to meet a guy I've been chatting to online for the first time (I thought I could lose him in the crowd if things went pear-shaped). But my word, if you ever want to get drunk on the cheap I'd recommend you go to one of these things.
First off it was Finlandia Vodka - I had five little shot glasses of different infused vodkas mixed into lovely summery cocktails. This stand's customer base was trashed trophy wives and the gays. But the lovely lass told us we were welcome to come back later for more
Next we got accosted by a nice lady holding a tray full of Stone's Alcoholic Ginger Beer - I'll have three of those.
Then there was wine, wine and more wines - Red wines, white wines, dessert wines, Rose's, sparkling's, every possible blend and variety you could ever want to try. I stopped after two glasses because wine just makes me giggly and horny.
I had a taste of some pomegranate liqueur next - it smelt like cranberry juice. Nice and sweet and summery but tasted like sweaty arse crack. It was fucking horrible. I had to go find the Stone's lady to wash the taste out of my mouth.
We left the boozy section to go find some food to absorb some of the grog we'd had and we found the cheeses. I was in absolute heaven. Mersey Valley and Tasmanian Heritage got attacked several times and it was the best cheese I'd ever had (especially the double cream Brie). There was also some heavy sampling of the duck and chicken stand, and some more of those cheeses too.
After that we went back down to grog town and had some more samples. And a few more, and a few more. And a few more.
But the highlight of my day was when I saw my hetero crush - Patience from the Grates! She looked absolutely ravishing in a nice summery dress . She was carefully checking out the Veggie Chip stand when we walked past her. I was so excited, but I decided to play it cool, and just gave her a quick smile and kept going. I so desperatley wanted to go up and say hello and tell her that I'd go straight for her, but that might just freak her out a bit. I was considerably drunk by this stage too.
She wasn't the only celeb though - Ainsley Harriot could be heard from miles away, but I could never lay an eye on him. And I also saw Andrew Mirosh - a Brissie TV chef with really ugly dreadlocks. He'd make me turn straight too, but for all the wrong reasons.
All in all, it was a very enjoyable afternoon. I think there shall be a second date.