Sunday, December 14, 2008

Nothing says sexy like 29 stuffed toys and a naked, hairy man...

Warning - this post maybe slightly NSFW (but the naughtier bits are a bit further down), and contains more than enough gay bits to scare off the straights. OK, its probably totally not safe for work.

I've found a funky little site that's updated daily called "It's Lovely, I'll Take It" which showcases some of the horrible pictures that people put up on line that they think will make their homes much more sellable.

Example 1;

Wow, your house has a great big garage, but does the stripped cop car come with it too? How about you sweep the driveway and remove the shit from the garden before you take a shot?

Or how abouts example number 2?
Toppled chairs, a book case, curtains and a door. It has everything I need!

There are heaps more shonky real estate pics over on the site, so go take a look.

So it was with great delight that I found a site that operates on a very similar premise, but involves gay men, their craptacular decorating tastes and nudity.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the totally NSFW Lurid Digs. A site that showcases some of the horrible pictures that people put up on line of themselves that they think will make them so much more doable.

Example 1;

They were looking at me. With their eyes (and yes there are 29 of them. That's wrong on so many levels).

Example 2;
Don't you just want to take a shower after looking at this? Who knows what you'll catch if you kneel down on that floor.

And example the third;

He's really quite cute. But what's the deal with the strange assortment of candles? A bear, a clown, and a trippy castle doesn't equal hot stud really. And would it hurt you to make the bed?

Surely these gays could have looked around the room and thought "hmmm... maybe people will think my collection of smurf memorabilia, dirty plates and the dog spew stain on the floor makes me a dud root. Better clean up a bit first!"?

It's apparently the gay way to post a picture of your gay penis when setting up a gay account on a gay dating site. Don't ask me why, but it seems if you haven't got a digital shot of your tumescent todger, it must mean it's a) very tiny, or b) actually a vagina.

I'm happy however, to announce that my meat and two veg is not on display for the gays on gaydar. That explains why I get very few hits on that site, and that doesn't worry me at all.

Now... we just need to get more shots of Kezza's peen on line and we'll all be happy! Well I will be, and that's all that matters.


phishez said...

Ok. I so added the listing one to my feed reader.

Not sure I could do the gay men one though. I mean, I do like penis, but its all about freaky guys.

Kezza said...

Lurid Digs does my head in, I mean my crap-shack isn't so spectacular, but at least I have the good sense to take photos where you can't see piles of my junk in the background and for the most part I do keep (some of) my gear on most of the time.

I can't help but feel a little bit dirty though - are you comparing me to one of these guys? I'm so worried right now.

Andy Man said...

I just had to go check out my pics on gaydar to make sure there's nothing dodgy in the background.

Nothing but me and my giant penis in those ones.

Anonymous said...

ewwwww. Too gay for me.

simple simon said...

I love lurid digs... there's been one or two times taht I've gone home with a fella and their house has resembled some of those dives.

cb said...

Mmmm tasty men in decidedly tasteless rooms. What's not to love??

Ms Smack said...

These are hilarious!

By the way, your comment on my latest post cracked me up while I was at work today, checking comments.

Seriously, I roared!

Thanks spunky

Ben said...

Come phishez... surely you need to check it out to get some decorating tips (which no way implies that you need to redecorate), and the bonus is you get to see penis! It's win-win!

Kezza - all your self shots are tastefully done. I will miss your penis since your shutting down your blog.

Anon - ah well. I like it.

Simon - two blokes at the same time? Tell me more...

CB - exactly. I've taken some of the tips on board and will be decorating my new house in a similar style.

Smack - it was really tiring trying to write that comment. I don't know how she has the energy to come up with that crap all the time.

the projectivist said...

i'm quietly addicted to It's Lovely, I'll Take It.

if you had an inkling that there were weird people about, this site well and truly confirms it.
man alive!
people are CRAZY.