Friday, December 12, 2008

Will you go out with me? Tick Yes/No

Had a date tonight. It didn't go well. Lets look at some of the things that went wrong;
  1. You chuck the shits because you weren't allowed into the bar you choose because you were under dressed.
  2. You keep going on and on about not being allowed into the bar, even though you spent a couple of hundred dollars in there last weekend.
  3. You spend 20 minutes texting people telling them how shit it was you weren't allowed into the bar.
  4. You keep checking your mobile phone constantly for the rest of the night.
  5. You openly eye every attractive man that walks past.
  6. You loudly sigh as a particularly fine specimen walks past us.
  7. You unashamedly mention how much the mortgage is on your inner-valley town house. More than once.
  8. You unashamedly mention how your next overseas jaunt is costing you and how much you're expecting your parents to pay for. MORE THAN ONCE.
  9. You expect me to understand you work-specific jargon.
  10. You don't bother to ask any questions about my life/habits/likes/dislikes thereby learning absolutely nothing about me.
  11. You expect me to care about anything you had to say.
OK, OK - I'll admit I wasn't really going out of my way tonight to make things run smoothly. It's been a full on week, and I just wanted to have a no fuss evening with a nice new guy. A date where I didn't have to do any of the work.

But with that sort of mind set, it was bound to fail. Way too many uncomfortable silences (well one is too many really).

Things were so bad at one stage that when he took an extremely long time in the toilet I had thought he had possibly done a runner.

AND I WAS HAPPY.

But he came back. When he told me that he was heading home because he was tired, I almost bolted out the door. At least there was no pretense of calling each other soon.

I'm sure it beats sitting at home alone on a Friday night, but not by much.

6 comments:

Kezza said...

He sounds like the kind of guy who would perhaps be better off dating himself! I don't think you're missing out on much if he doesn't call you back.

You could always spend Friday nights with Clooney, Willis, Di Caprio, Depp and Pitt. That would be a much better way to while away the hours.

phishez said...

But you got good blog fodder out of it!

With a guy that superficail and shallow I'd be happy just to score a date. I mean, hello, he only dates the best looking guys out there.

Ben said...

Kezza - I think he's a serial dater. The clue was "I always meet my first dates there" so I wonder how many other fools he's bored to tears as well?

I could always go me some Depp Pitt action. Yum.

Phishez - aw shucks, you're making me blush. And you're completely right about the blog fodder... what would I write about if my life was perfect?

Josh said...

Ugh. Sometimes I think it's better to enjoy the evening to oneself than to put up with people like that.

Andy Man said...

What an idiot! And by idiot I mean you. You should have just jumped his bones and got a shag out of him.

Sex is always the answer my friend. Always.

Ms Smack said...

The ONLY thing that would make that date better is if he was hung like a horse, and knew how to use it.

Just once, of course. Anything more than that, you're a doormat.

xx