Friday, October 31, 2008

The stars never lie...

I'm a proud Leo on the Virgo cusp. Well, that may have been the gayest sentence I've ever written, but here is what my personalised horoscope from has to say today;

"Leo - If you feel resourceful, confident and willing to take a chance then this could prove to be a very good day for you. It doesn't have to anything major because even a small win is always appreciated. Whatever domestic task you have to do, you'll be more than willing to get it done. But tonight is for having a bi fun and forgetting about worries."

Are they fucking serious? I have got to go out and find a willing vadge/peen combination for this evenings festivities? I know I'm still not over Greg, but I'm not changing team just because the stars tell me to.

I seriously don't think I can go back to women (even if there is a doodle in the room to play with). Boobs scare me, and the last time I pashed a chick it was really, really uninspiring. Don't get me started on the last time I actually slept with a woman. It's taken many, many, many litres of sambucca to try and erase that experience from my memory.

Oh well. I'm too fat for the gays this week, maybe some desperate fag hag at the beat will oblige me in a drunken pash tonight.


Kezza said...

You only live once, and as they say 'any hole's a goal'!

scottiejt said...

Too funny.....LOL

Andy Man said...

It doesn't say you have to go taco diving... just find yourself a hot bi dude and let him do naasty nasty things to you.

Oh... adn can I watch?

simple simon said...

Mine just says "You will catch herpes from an unattractive man-whore".

That's a bit too specific for my liking.

Anonymous said...


are you sure that "But tonight is for having a bi fun and forgetting about worries."

doesn't mean... "But tonight is for having A BIT OF fun and forgetting about worries."


Ben said...

Well duh Anon - that was pretty obvious, but wouldn't have been as fun to write about.

Andy Man said...

LOL @ anon - missed the point completly you spastic.