Tuesday, September 9, 2008

You have a lovely accent...

I've told you all before how I love accents, but for some strange reason, people keep telling me that I have a lovely accent. Seriously... what the fuck?

I grew up in Ipswich - which has a reputation for not being the most cultured city in Australia. I mean, have you heard Pauline Hanson speak? That's pretty much how 99% of the population talk.

After grade 12 I moved to Toowoomba for University. Toowoomba being a rather large town just on the verge of the country. Cowboy hats are all the rage in the T-bar, as is Lee Kernigan and incest.

So I really can't understand where the talk of a supposed accent comes from - my upbringing and formative years should have left me with some sort of country-bumkin-Cletus-like tonsorial twang. And I haven't travelled anywhere, so there's no way for me to pick up any inkling of another accent what so ever.

When I first got into call centres I had a few old women ask me where I grew up, I just assumed they were deaf and desperate for some sort of conversation. I also had one lady ask me if I was Jewish - and then proceeded to tell me that Hitler did the world a favour by killing so many of them. So I just cancelled her home insurance policy and prayed for a fire.

But that's another story...

Last year I was house sitting for my parents, who still live in Ipswich, and on three separate occasions I was asked about my accent. By the third occasion I must have been rather miffed at it all because I got shitty with the woman at the gym;

Gym Lady - "My, that's a lovely accent"
Me - "Sorry?"
GL - "Your accent, it's beautiful. Where are you from?"
Me - "Ipswich"
GL - "No, I mean, where did you grow up?
Me - "Ipswich"
GL - "There's no way you were raised in Ipswich"
Me - "Ah, yes I was."

GL - "No, no, no - you must have lived overseas for years"
Me - "Nope."
GL - "Are you sure?"
Me - "Pretty sure I'd remember living overseas"

And it went on for at least five minutes - she just couldn't believe that I was a local. Or a former local at least.

Then I even got it from my doctor the other day;

Doc - "So when will you get to see your family again?"
Me - "On the weekend"
Doc - "So you're flying out to see them?"
Me - "Ummmm"

He honestly thought they either were in Adelaide or in the UK.

What the hell people? Is everyone implying that I sound like a fucking snob with a plum in my mouth? Do I give off a pretentious, obnoxious attitude? I'm pretty sure I don't have any airs and graces about me... I prefer beer to wine, steak to foie gras, and I like to swear, fart and shoot pigs (well the last bit's a lie).

It doesn't really matter I suppose... as long as I don't develop one of those "gay" lisping accents I don't care.

You know what I mean.


Kezza said...

Hmmmm, Maybe it's the gay thing that has made you areful about the way you speak. I've been told the same things a few times but I think I sound pretty boganish, so who knows, now as for that last bit - keep the lisp at bay and if you could manage to fart less I might be tempted to ask you out on a date!

Nanna said...

What do you sound like?

Record your voice and let us hear it!

Ben said...

Apparently I look like a young Phil Collins, so maybe I sound like him too?