This morning in the call centre, new guy writing down my coffee request for the mobile van that was about to arrive out front;
Me - "extra large skinny latte, please." (It was shaping up to be a tough day)
New Guy - "Any sugar?"
Me - "No sugar for me, thanks"
You could see the cogs turning in his head. Was he gonna spit out the "awww... you're sweet enough already..." line? He wouldn't would he? Surely not. That would be horrible for all involved.
So to circumvent the potentially embarrassing line being uttered, I cut him off with;
"I'm a bitter old cunt. No amount of sugar is gonna help that."
The look on his face indicated that I had perhaps over-stepped a line.