Thursday, July 16, 2009

It's official. I have lost my sex drive.

Gasp!

Apart from a couple drunken dance floor pashes (and one taxi driver pash) there has been absolutely no action for Benji.

Shock!

And I'm not really missing it.

Horror!

This has been the longest period of my life I have gone without sex.

Smurf!

Well, it's probably only been three weeks, but that's a long time between doodles for slutty old Benji.

Jumanji!

Work has been absolutely flat out, and I'm coming home exhausted. Yes! I'm working my arse off.

PAP SMEAR!

I'm not spending hours trawling manhunt/gaydar looking for a potential date and/or bum fun.

EXTENDED WARRANTY!

And when I do go out, the end result isn't me ending up in a random bed having bad fumbling drunken sex.

RHONDA BURCHMORE!

What ever am I to do?

10 comments:

unique_stephen said...

OMG, you have shattered my faith in gay men as the protectors of endless sex. In my misogynous moments of frustration I was always able to consider switching sides as a fall back. Now you have shattered that safety net.

You bastard.

Now get up and fuck your arese off buster or else......

The Mutant said...

Don't stress Stephen, some of us are still getting plenty of tail...

Now, as for you Ben, I laughed so hard when I read that, that milk came out my nose, and I wasn't even drinking milk at the time... I don't know which was worse, pap smear, Rhonda Burchmore, or picturing the two together.

I'm sure your sex will come back online soon, it usually does when you least expect it.

Damien NZ said...

It was the Rhonda Burchmore that did it for me - if youve ever seen her without the make up and the wig - bloody hell.

Nick said...

I'm still reeling about the revelation that you pashed a taxi driver. I am hoping the taxi drivers in Brisvegas are very different to those in Melbourne.

Damien NZ said...

Back when I lived in Briz many of the taxi drivers were pash worthy - mostly uni guys working at night :)

hubba hubba hubba

cb said...

Dude. Jumanji indeed!!

AJohnP said...

I bet it will be back in a flash!!

PS - I had to look up 'pash'

PPS - the above rhyme was
unintentional.

Ms Smack said...

aw honey, we ALL have little droughts. Maybe its fate's way of showing us some message, however weird.

Check out penissecret.blogspot.com. to help you get your mojo back.

You might consider submitting an anonymous pic yourself.

It's quite spesh...

xx

Tom Gaylord said...

Hey I'm emerging from my weeks long sexless and erectionless psyuchosis and my willy moved today. And I got fisted last night - don't worry, it will be back! HOORAY!

vag_of_madge said...

In response to the final question....celebrate the gaining of wisdom?

I think perhaps you're feeling the need to settle into a longer-term relationship, which isn't such a dire thing really.