Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Can you ever just be whelmed?

I'm in apathy city right now. If I were to put a positive spin on things I would say I'm just going with the flow, maintaining the status quo, but I'm not. It seems I really don't care what is going on a round me and I'm just too lazy to make the changes needed to get my life back on track.

I lost my higher duties contract at the end of March, and took a fairly sharp cut in my pay. But I have not applied for a single job since then to try and get back to the position I was in.


I'm barely putting in any effort to lose the last 8 kilos that I keep harping on about in previous posts. If I weren't locked into a contract with my gym, I probably wouldn't be doing any exercise at all.


With my recent health problems I should be breaking the old habit of getting trashed and hooking up with random blokes - especially when I got so trashed on Friday night and hooked up with the "Nice Guy" again. It really isn't doing my body and my state of mind any good at all.


So what can I do to get out of this major, deep sided rut I've got myself into? Well I'm thinking a change of city may be in order. I've done it once before (packed up and left Toowoomba and my life took a major turn for the better). Could it work again?

Sydney? Melbourne? Maybe even Cairns? Who knows? A change of scenery, a change to my circle of friends (as much as I love them all) may just force me to take some direction in life.

But is this just me wanting to run away from my problems here? Is it a lazy solution to me being lazy (even though its not easy to move city)? If I actually pulled my finger out at work, I could force myself into a new job here. If I even bothered to look at the job sites, and took the time to do an application I might actually succeed in finding something (I actually have a rather impressive resume).

All I know is I don't want to rush this. Giving up a permanent government job (no matter how much of a pay cut I took) in this economic climate is not a wise move, especially when I know I'm just being lazy. Moving to a city that is probably facing worse unemployment than my current locale is equally unwise.

But it is in the back of my mind. It it will sit there for a little bit longer.

If things haven't changed by Christmas I will revisit the proposition.



The Mutant said...

I'm no expert, but in my experience all you need to do is turn the tide on one thing. Get thos eight kilos off and you'll want a better job, get a better job and you won't feel the need to abuse your body and mind with the wrong kind of men.

One thing leads to another, the downward spiral you're in now can be turned around so pick one thing you can focus on and before long you'll be dying to improve the rest.

Good luck Benji, As cool as it'd be to have you in Melbourne I'll let you decide this one for yourself!

vag_of_madge said...

I concur with Mutant, absolutely. Positive change leads to positive drive: start with the weight/body because it's the easiest (and quickest) issue to deal with.

However if you were thinking of moving to a new locale AND getting a better (public?) job, why not give Canberra a thought as well? That is, when the job drought breaks around September-October. Also close enough to Sydney for weekends away.

INPB said...

Identifying that you do this to yourself is the first, biggest and hardest step. You know that there are things that you're being lazy about and now you have a chance to move forward.

Giving up the permanent Govvy job is not a good idea at the moment, that said, you don't have to do the job you're doing. Check out some more EOIs (I'll email you some through) and look at jobs in other sectors. If you get one, you take 12 months leave without pay. That way you have your job to go back to if u want. It will be your safety net.

Like mutant said, one thing will lead to another. Find the smallest task (like your health hint hint hint) and make some changes. Change will lead to more change and before you know it you will be settled in whatever life you want to do.

Call me if you need anything. x

Victor said...

I can't really better the wisdom already recorded - who knew that Mutant, for one, is that wise - apart from stating that it seems personal change is best achieved incrementally rather than in one fell swoop.

Having written that opinion I wonder now where 'sea change' fits in?

cb said...

All I'm gonna say: riches cargos and clacky mules. It'll bring out the hornbag in ya!

Ben said...

Thanks everyone... after posting that blog I'm feeling a bit more energised and am feeling a lot more positive.

Work is going great, and actually have two job apps in the works. Just need to stop eating and I'll be much happier.