I'm in apathy city right now. If I were to put a positive spin on things I would say I'm just going with the flow, maintaining the status quo, but I'm not. It seems I really don't care what is going on a round me and I'm just too lazy to make the changes needed to get my life back on track.
I lost my higher duties contract at the end of March, and took a fairly sharp cut in my pay. But I have not applied for a single job since then to try and get back to the position I was in.
I'm barely putting in any effort to lose the last 8 kilos that I keep harping on about in previous posts. If I weren't locked into a contract with my gym, I probably wouldn't be doing any exercise at all.
With my recent health problems I should be breaking the old habit of getting trashed and hooking up with random blokes - especially when I got so trashed on Friday night and hooked up with the "Nice Guy" again. It really isn't doing my body and my state of mind any good at all.
So what can I do to get out of this major, deep sided rut I've got myself into? Well I'm thinking a change of city may be in order. I've done it once before (packed up and left Toowoomba and my life took a major turn for the better). Could it work again?
Sydney? Melbourne? Maybe even Cairns? Who knows? A change of scenery, a change to my circle of friends (as much as I love them all) may just force me to take some direction in life.
But is this just me wanting to run away from my problems here? Is it a lazy solution to me being lazy (even though its not easy to move city)? If I actually pulled my finger out at work, I could force myself into a new job here. If I even bothered to look at the job sites, and took the time to do an application I might actually succeed in finding something (I actually have a rather impressive resume).
All I know is I don't want to rush this. Giving up a permanent government job (no matter how much of a pay cut I took) in this economic climate is not a wise move, especially when I know I'm just being lazy. Moving to a city that is probably facing worse unemployment than my current locale is equally unwise.
But it is in the back of my mind. It it will sit there for a little bit longer.
If things haven't changed by Christmas I will revisit the proposition.