Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Things I have learnt in the past seven days...

This is probably gonna fall into the category of "Too much info thanks Benji"... but suck it up.
  • Waiting a week to go and see someone about why you can't piss properly is not smart.
  • Drinking 15 or so beers in a session, knowing that you can't piss properly, is down right stupid.
  • Waking up after 15 beers and not being able to piss at all is scary.
  • Hospital gowns do provide a modicum of modesty, and cover your arse just fine.
  • A female doctor doing a prostate exam is not in the slightest bit erotic
  • Catheter insertion is not fun.
  • Catheter removal is less fun.
  • Taking a piss after the catheter has been removed is fucking horrible. I actually screamed.
  • Going back to the hospital two days later and going through the whole thing again because you woke up this morning not being able to piss is a fucking nightmare.
So yes, I am currently at home, with a fucking catheter inserted in my bladder because I'm having some issues going pee pee. It looks like an infected prostate has caused the issues, but they are concerned about me not passing urine for almost a day, and may have over stretched my bladder.

So this fucking piss tube gets to stay shoved up my urethra and stick uncomfortably into my bladder for the next couple of days until I go back to out patients and they check to see if I can actually control my urine flow. And a lovely little bag gets to stay strapped to my leg and catch all of piss that come out. How fucking sexy does that sound?

I'm too young for this sort of shit to be going on.


DamienNZ said...

What you have is far more common than many men admit.

If it is an infected prostrate it will sort itself out with antibiotics.

Did they give you something?

Anonymous said...

My eyes are watering on your behalf.....ouchie!!
I really hope you're OK and don't have to do this on a regular basis!

Ms Smack said...

Jesus that sounds damn painful...

Hope you're better soon.. ouch.


AJohnP said...

The exact same thing happened to my husband last year. However, he went to the doctor right away and didn't have to deal with a catheter at all (never mind TWICE!). The good news is that the infection cleared up quickly and has yet to return.
Knock on wood. ;-)

Feel better soon!!!

Anonymous said...

oh dear lord......... our rampant bottomry is starting to come back and haunt us........... you're first........ this means I'm next......... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

Evol Kween said...

Ouchiez! Take it easy huh.

The Mutant said...

Fark Benji - That can't be fun no matter which way you slice it.

I hope you've learnt something from all this though: Stop being such a man - if something aint right go get it checked out you daft sod.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything returns to its normal, functional state.

Even though I can't be there to fluff your pillows and give you a sponge bath, I'll send you a virtual lick-o'-the-nips in the hope it makes you feel a wee bit better.

cb said...

Hmmmm- you musta really gotten a BIG one up there rammin that poor little prostate! Do tell!!

In all seriousness, I hope things get back to normal for you very soon!

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's rotten - FYI, inserting a catheter should not hurt (did they use a weird thin syringe, pump it up with some sort of white cream first) and removing it should not hurt either - a special tool is used to release the thingy that holds it in there.
Unless, they were being cheap and using Old Technology...
And if you NOT on antibiotics, go get some NOW......


Victor said...

Shit. Sorry to read that you are suffering all this. Hope it is sorted out for you soon.