Thursday, March 12, 2009

The formula...

Here's the standard formula to Benji's love life of late...

Meet a man - be it on line, pub, club, gym, supermarket, gutter - give him my number

Texting - huge amounts of SMS back and forward. Cheeky, funny, naughty. Then a date is organised.

1st date - share, talk, learn, laugh, generally have a good time. May be no sex this date if I really like them. I don't want to look like a slut.

More texting - may progress to actually phone conversations. But talking on the phone is sooooo 1990.

2nd date - more talking, then sex. YAY.

Phone calls - long, deep, revealing conversations that give a great insight into each other.

3rd date - something more romantic, with extra thought and care put into the planning process, that will lead to unbelievably great sex.

4th date - meet the friends/housemates at the pub, in a no pressure situation. They tell me you've been so happy since we've met. I talk to them for ages, before we retreat home for sex.

5th date - I get dumped. You've just come out of a long term relationship, you're now enjoying your singledom, have too much going on with work. You don't want to hurt me.

Too late.

9 comments:

Stu said...

Ouch!
So, what are you going to do differently from now on?

Jen said...

Shit, what happened? I thought only straight guys were arseholes!
His loss, not yours.

Ms Smack said...

Hey, that happens to us too!

I'm sorry honey.. sucks eh?

It's no wonder that I'm celibate.

I dropped you an email letting you that we rec'd the DVD and loved it!

But, the email bounced back.

Have you changed email addresses, my sweet?

I hope you're feeling better soon.

xxxxx

The Mutant said...

If only they were all the first four dates huh? Don't you worry though. A catch like yourself won't have too much trouble finding a man who sweeps you off your feet then stays around to do it time and time again.

Victor said...

Bummer.

Tom Gaylord said...

Gimme a name........... I lived in Brisbane for four years and I worked for the Department of Defence........... you want him eliminated?:)!

Gabriel said...

that sucks massively. i feel your pain :(

Andy Man said...

Poor baby. I hope you went and got trashed on Friday to get over him. That's my usual course of action.

audrey said...

Oh sheeeeeet. And just after I left a 'squee' comment on the first date post.