Thursday, March 12, 2009

The formula...

Here's the standard formula to Benji's love life of late...

Meet a man - be it on line, pub, club, gym, supermarket, gutter - give him my number

Texting - huge amounts of SMS back and forward. Cheeky, funny, naughty. Then a date is organised.

1st date - share, talk, learn, laugh, generally have a good time. May be no sex this date if I really like them. I don't want to look like a slut.

More texting - may progress to actually phone conversations. But talking on the phone is sooooo 1990.

2nd date - more talking, then sex. YAY.

Phone calls - long, deep, revealing conversations that give a great insight into each other.

3rd date - something more romantic, with extra thought and care put into the planning process, that will lead to unbelievably great sex.

4th date - meet the friends/housemates at the pub, in a no pressure situation. They tell me you've been so happy since we've met. I talk to them for ages, before we retreat home for sex.

5th date - I get dumped. You've just come out of a long term relationship, you're now enjoying your singledom, have too much going on with work. You don't want to hurt me.

Too late.


Stu said...

So, what are you going to do differently from now on?

Anonymous said...

Shit, what happened? I thought only straight guys were arseholes!
His loss, not yours.

Ms Smack said...

Hey, that happens to us too!

I'm sorry honey.. sucks eh?

It's no wonder that I'm celibate.

I dropped you an email letting you that we rec'd the DVD and loved it!

But, the email bounced back.

Have you changed email addresses, my sweet?

I hope you're feeling better soon.


The Mutant said...

If only they were all the first four dates huh? Don't you worry though. A catch like yourself won't have too much trouble finding a man who sweeps you off your feet then stays around to do it time and time again.

Victor said...


Anonymous said...

Gimme a name........... I lived in Brisbane for four years and I worked for the Department of Defence........... you want him eliminated?:)!

Gabriel said...

that sucks massively. i feel your pain :(

Andy Man said...

Poor baby. I hope you went and got trashed on Friday to get over him. That's my usual course of action.

audrey said...

Oh sheeeeeet. And just after I left a 'squee' comment on the first date post.