Things were very quiet on the dating front (or mindless, drunken sex front depending on the night) for Benji over X-mas and the new year period, but over the last few weeks my romantic leanings have been getting an airing again.
But, sadly, every man I meet this year seems to be jerking me around.
First there was Mr Mercedes Convertible - he's the guy who dated my house mate's friend, but we worked out that I had hooked up another ex of his last year. Confusing? Yes -but it's explained (badly) here.
So Mr Mercedes Convertible does, in fact, drive that sort of car. Nice. He also has fantastic taste in just about everything - nicely decorated house, nice clothes, nice wine choices, and he took me out to a fantastic restaurant.
We met on-line, and as such spent several nights chatting via MSN, then moved onto SMS and finally an actual telephone chat. Conversation flowed freely. We laughed about the multiple connections we had, but also laughed about a lot of other things as well. A date was set for Thursday night.
That's when I got to see the house, the car and when he took me out for the best pizza and steak I've ever had. It was a fantastic date, so I stayed the night.
And then that was the end of it. He stopped returning my calls, stopped responding to my texts. Three days later I got the "Thanks, but no thanks" text. I wasn't even worthy of a telephone call. Apparently, he was having issues with the fact that I shagged his ex, and he wasn't really looking for a relationship right now.... blah blah blah.
OK. Thanks. Message received loud and clear. See ya.
But this is the year of Positive Benji. I'm not going to let one guy get me down.
So onto Mr Footy Shorts. Once again, met him online. Well, really he tracked me down after we had had a massive pash on the dance floor at The Beat one night last year. Can't say I really remembered him, but we chatted on line, moved to SMS, then the phone calls.
When the night came for us to meet, her came to pick me up wearing footy shorts and a singlet. Not really a great outfit for a date, but looked so fucking hot. So hot, that we didn't make it out at all.
Things went a little bit better after that first date - texts continued to come my way, he even called most afternoons for the following week. Then when he didn't call me back one day when he said he would, I just assumed this was going down the same track as Mr Merc.
So for a whole week, nothing at all. Until last night when he calls and says he wants to cook for me and we'll watch a movie at his place.
I said yes in a second, and once again he picked me up in the footy shorts and we had a really nice night.
So this afternoon, I texted him to say thanks (Mum taught me to be polite) and told him that I'd like to see more of him. Of course - nothing.
Why am I not surprised? It just follows suite from every other fucking man on the planet. But this is really effecting my mood today. I went to the gym but couldn't concentrate, so came home and ate a shit load of food. Typical Benji response to emotional turmoil.
I feel like a total fucking loser - not for putting the feelings out there, but for letting it get me down like this. This is type of response is not a new thing for me. Men are jerks, but how many times did I go through this bullshit last year, and how many times this year?
But I've been a jerk, in the past too - I've not returned emails and texts, so maybe its just karma getting me back.
Maybe my man slut ways of last year have now established a reputation for me in the Brisbane gay scene. Maybe the word out on the town is that Ben is a good root, but you wouldn't more than one date.
It's probably just because Jesus hates me.