He's my favourite fictional character...

I used to have a mild celebrity crush on Justin Timberlake. It all started with the film clip to the horrendous *Nsync song "Pop".

It was the first time I saw him with his hair clippered (instead of his horrible pube curls). He did lots of moves where he raised his nicely muscled (yet not bulky) arms up above his head and did some fairly sexy straight-to-camera looks.

So much hotter with a shaved head, yes?

It became one of the regular songs on rotation on the jukebox in the bar I managed, just so I could imagine JT doing things to me with those milky white toned arms... sigh.

Then there was the film clip to "Like I love You" with that little spoken word bit. It fairly made me swoon.

But fascination can be fleeting, and now I think Mr Timberlake is nothing more than a celebrity shagging, song-collaboration-ruining fool. He's not done anything specific to piss me off. I'm just over him.

And then there was Karmichael Hunt. The man is lean and hot in all the right places. And he looks great in his footy shorts.

Hmmm... thighs.

I actually bumped into him one day over at the Bronco's (seeing as its just across the street from one of our Campuses and I do tend to spend a bit of time in there avoiding work) and he was friendly and polite enough to smile and say hello. That put him up even higher in the hotness stakes for me.

But over the last couple of years the fascination has wained. He seems to sport a perpetual 5 day growth these days (3 days is fine, but 5 is just too much) and then there was the whole Alhambra toilet scandal with the other two Bronco's which didn't win him any new fans at all, and kinda lost me.


Hugh Jackman is another one that is falling out of favour. I've drooled over him in the past, as he does have a very fine "grown up" body going on. He's got some great muscle tone (hmmm pectorals), the right amount of definition in the abs (including the Adonis belt) and he has body hair (unlike some of the pretty boys at my gym). He's a real manly man.

But during the unrelenting, mind numbing, IQ reducing, mutual wank fest that was the media promotion for Australia he really started to shit me to tears. On Oprah all he seemed to do was slap his thighs at any unfunny joke and cackle like my mother after a bottle of wine. Then there was the German TV incident where stupid N Kidman tried to play the didgeridoo.


Is that supposed to be a traditional Aboriginal dance Hugh? Well it's not. So sit the fuck down and stop acting like a fucking wanker.

There is still time for Mr Jackman to redeem himself. Just divorce your wife Hugh and come shack up with me. It'll make up for all your past indiscretions.

Honestly.