Saturday, October 11, 2008

You put what in where?

Like I've said before, my coming out process has been relatively pain free. No hate, no friendships cut short, no spitting in my face and telling me that I'm going to burn in hell for participating in bum fun. It's all been nice as pie so far.

One of the strange side effects of everyone readily accepting my lifestyle has been the strange questions that they now think are fine to ask. The most common one tends to be "Is he gay?" regarding any well dressed, nicely toned man that a friend and I will pass in the street. Unfortunately, unless I'm in a gay bar pashing on with said bloke, I generally have no idea. The other most common question used to be "Have you told your parents yet?".

And yes, I have.

But by far the strangest one came from a tipsy work colleague at a comedy club outing to see Kitty Flanagan a few months ago. This particular girl is generally very quiet, shy and and unassuming (though has got a wicked sense of humour);

"So tell me Ben," stumbles, giggles, spills wine, gets distracted by shiny object on table "Um, I've heard of this one thing gay men like to do..."

I was waiting for the not very uncommon question about oral/anal/cumming/fisting/golden showers/Mr Hands/Two Girls One Cup/Scat etc, that drunk friends like to ask. But what came next blew me away;

"Have you ever stuffed a hanky up a guys bum and then it pulled out as he came?"

**Crickets chirping loudly**

"You know, cause I've heard all you guys like to do it."

Out of all the gross things I've seen on the web, read about on the web, or potentially done to some bloke with a fetish (not saying I've done those sort of things), that has to be the strangest, most fucked up thing I have ever heard of.

So has anyone done it? I've Googled it but can't find anything. I also Googled "Brazilian Fart Porn" - and that's fucking hilarious.

I need answers... please supply.


phishez said...

I can honestly say I've never stuffed anything up a guys arse. Sigh. We're usually too preoccupied with mine to go there.

Whoops! Did I say that out loud?

If she wants to know if its any good, she should try it. Her arse isn't any more sensitive than yours.

Simple Simon said...

Please cut and paste my comment from previous post in here...

Fucking moron