Thursday, August 6, 2009

Gravel rash where?


Have you noticed that I have a list of worries?



My biggest one right now is my inability to control my drinking.

I know some of my more popular posts have been recollections of boozy nights past, but after last weekend, I'm more than a little concerned about it.

Lets summarise the damage of a last weekend's bender in no particular order;

2 - nights of drinking
500 - dollars spent, probably more
1 - Hole in the lounge room wall
3 - ex's attempted to hook back up with on various dancefloors
0 - successful hook up attempts with ex's
1 - Irishman in my bed that wouldn't kiss
5 - smashed glasses in the kitchen sink
1 - arse cheek covered in gravel rash
2 - over worked kidneys
x - number of sambucca shots consumed, where x may equal anything between 1 and infinity.

It was all kind of a blur really. But I do remember both nights getting to the stage where I just went "Fuck it... lets just get trashed".

And I did. With a great deal of success. And that's what really worries me the most. That I had to take it to that next level.

Why wasn't tipsy to medium level drunk enough? I was having a great time both nights, but oblivion was just calling my name.

So two mammoth hangovers, two days in a row, left me pretty much without a good proper sleep in, and a good relaxing day to recover from a fairly hellish week.

And the embarrassment of crashing through the house at 4am with the non-kissing Irish man, breaking all the glasses in the sink and then falling over in the courtyard with my pants around my ankles has led me to the conclusion that enough is enough.

So I've told a few people that I need to cut back, and all are supportive.

"Yes! It'll be great for your health."

"Yes! It'll be great for your budget."

"Yes! It'll be great for your reputation to not look like a drunken sloppy whore every time you go out."

But tonight a couple of those supportive people seem to have forgotten about being supportive.

"So you're coming out tomorrow then?" asks one. When I say no, probably gonna go to the parents for a visit, I get laughed at.

"I'm sure I'll see you on the dance at midnight out of your skull!" Chortle, chortle, snigger.

Fuck you. You have no faith in me at all? Thanks.

And then another tonight sends me a text saying "Come get trashed with me!" with my reply being "I'm cutting back, remember?"

The response? "Oh. Fuck that".

Once again. Thanks.

I know I've said it before, told people that I have to cut back, and will try and adhere to a low booze weekend. And have miserably failed. On more than one occasion.

I need to not get trashed this weekend. I need to display some self control. Just to prove to myself that I can actually do it.

But what if I can't?


heat said...

You sound like me, only I've given up on sobriety completely. Sorry about that asscheek though, hope it feels better soon.

cb said...

Yeah, drinking can be fun, but you need to really ask yourself "Do I really like how this makes me feel?"

Money wasted, things broken, hangovers, etc. Is it worth it?

The Mutant said...

You can do it, maybe I'd be having a closer look at some of your friends though. Do you do anything with them besides drinking?

If they won't support you in your plans to dry out then perhaps you should concentrate on spending a little (fuck that, a lot) less time with them.

Good luck Ben. I know you can do. Make me proud!

Clairebear said...

hmm I remember when I went through this. I got myself into a lot of trouble (with friends) for getting too drunk too often. Tipsy wasnt enough for me, I had to be trashed. Even now I cringe when people bring up things I did when drinking then. They think its funny, but for me it's painful.
Don't worry, you can do it. You'll be fine. I thought I couldnt do it either, but now I drink *maybe* once every three months or so. And then its not to the point of trashy (well, mostly not). Of course, thats contributed to my low alcohol tolerance...but thats a good thing, right?
My point being, if I can do it, you can do it. As for those friends of yours - maybe a rethink is in order?
Im on team Ben for this one :)

Stu said...

Ben, you can do this.... if you really want to.

You can also pretend that its all too hard, and there's too much peer pressure, and one more night won't hurt, and it's only because it's a special occasion, and you forgot again, and so on, and so on, and so on....

If you are really finding it too difficult, stop going to those venues. Find somewhere a lot calmer, a lot more civilised, and if necessary, find a new lot of friends to do it with.

If your friends won't support you in this, then they're not really very good friends, are they?

Anonymous said...

Of course you can do it Mr:) I'm a raging piss head, but because of the 8 different meds I'm on, I was point blank told I was not allowed to drink until I'm off them - so I stopped. 4 months yesterday since I touched a drop of alcohol - I'm FUCKING THIRSTY!!!! And can't wait for the day when I'm no longer insane in the membrane and pilled up, so that I can get into the vino and some laughs - but the point being - I stopped cause I had to - and I bet you can too:) Don't stop - moderate - go see your folks:)

Trashbag almost in remission said...

As one who knows where your coming from both from the perspective of having witnessed it (well sort of) and being a trashbag myself... The key to it is to have plans that don't involve drinking that get you to like 10-11 pm (i.e. theatre, movies, managerial finance, cross-stitch etc), then when you get to a bar you feel so sober and out of place you head home... or end up doing shots off the naked torso of a random stranger until you catch up... in any case you have at least done more than just get trashed, even if you end up trashed (which is less likely bcoz you start later).

If your in need of support let me know... I will at the very least be homer to your barney and down that six pack in one go so that your sober enough to fly the proverbial chopper!

(ps looks like friday giddiness is still with me).

Nick said...

I have no advice for you mate. I go though a similar cycle, with periods of out of control boozy (and great fun)weeks back to back, then self imposed prohibition. The word moderation does not seem to be in my dictionary. This cycle seems to co-incide with the incidents of (great) casual sex.

If you find a solution, please let us know about it, and I will follow your lead.

Victor said...

Set your goals and and never give up...I suppose.

(This advice from a man who has no history of giving up things bad for Max...and lamingtons...)

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