Monday, June 15, 2009

Doing the walk of shame at pride fair...

It's no secret - I like my sex. I'm pretty sure everyone on this planet knows that I have no qualms about going out to a club, finding a man, taking him home and spending several hours performing rectal examinations on each other.

It's wholesome fun for everyone involved!

However there have been a few gentlemen recently who have wanted to take things a bit further than just the one night stand. I'm not talking deep and meaningful relationships after just one shag (well I think one certainly did) but they want to date and get to know me and share and learn all about me and all that crap.

In the past this would have thrilled the absolute hell out of me that a man would actually want to pursue me a bit, and perhaps eventually end up as a, gasp, "boyfriend", but lately these guys just aren't doing it for me on all the levels I need. I'm not talking sexually (well one certainly turned me off- he liked me to gouge my finger nails into his nipples as he reached orgasm. If I drew blood he was extra-happy... yeah that doesn't work for me, sorry), but more on the emotional level. There just hasn't been a great connection with anyone recently. And I think that's what I'm really searching for.

So how do I tell these guys that I'm not interested in taking things further? A quick phone call to say, "It's not you, its me"? God no. I simply disappear from the face of the earth. I stop returning their calls and texts. I delete them from MSN, I block them from Gaydar. I just do the total silent treatment, and pretend like they never existed.


I hate it when blokes do it to me, yet I seem to have fallen into the easy habit of just waiting til they get the hint, then going on my merry way and forgetting they ever existed.

That was until Saturday afternoon when I attended the Birsbane Pride Fair in Musgrave Park. Pretty much every time I turned around there was a man that I had slept with and then stopped talking too standing behind me. It was actually quite embarrassing.

On the front gate was "The Nipple Twister", then in the beer tent I saw "baldy back hair" and he was actually talking to "Priscilla Queen of Retail". Over in the queue for the toilets I saw "Bad in Bed" and then when getting some fairy floss I got served by "Hung Bottom Twink".

And I nodded and smiled at every single one of them.

And it got to me thinking... I have very few gay male friends. Well none really. All of these guys that I have ditched could actually have turned out to be mates, yet I simply push them away and try to avoid them. There are a couple of guys who I do talk to, but they really are ex's and there's always an undercurrent of sexual tension (probably just me being horny). It would be nice to develop a couple of friendships with gay guys that isn't based on alcohol consumption or the fact that we have seen each other naked.

But then again, I struggle to make new friends no matter what their gender or sexual orientation. Apparently I can be a tough nut to crack, and people often think I'm aloof and rude, when really I'm just extremely shy and don't know how to react in certain social situations.

I did have a great day though... mostly spent talking to lesbians. For some reason I get along with them really well.


Nanna said...

Fuck, Ben. You're a cunt.

Someone might not be what you want but at least have the balls to say something - at least anything.

Doing what you're doing is a cunt'ish act.

You admit you hate when it's done to you and that it slams down your self-esteem, yet you sit there and dole it out to others.

If that is how you really operate then honey, you deserve what you get.

(I don't mean to just single you out for this - but if everyone done their bit this world might be a tiny tiny bit of a better place).

The Mutant said...

Nanna has a bloody good point. I was just going to chastise you for talking to lesbians, the sworn nemesis of the gay man.

Maybe you ought to try making friends with fags, then they can wrap you across the knuckles next time you do a vanishing act on some poor unsuspecting homosexual who just wants you to loooooove hiiiiiiiim!

phishez said...

I'd love to call you a bitch here, but that would be the whole pot/kettle scenario. I tend to ignore the ones who hang on too much.

Which doesn't happen oftenl, but they are crazy bad when they do!

Anonymous said...

I love lesbians! I always find them calmer and more grounded in emergencies than gay men........ which is good, because I'm generalyl in a state of panic.......

I'll be your special man friend!:)

travelling, but not in love said...

I think you may actually be a lesbian. Have you looked at your shoes recently? They may hold the key.

Failing that, make some bloody gay friends.

Friends are good to have - you can blame for things real easy.

cb said...

Dude, I'm in the same boat. Sex is good, but I don't want more because mentally they don't do it for me.

Give them the "it's not me, it's you" harsh blowoff.

vag_of_madge said...

I have to agree with Nanna Ben. While it's good to see that you're being introspective and reflective about your behaviour, the hard answer is that your behaviour is both inconsiderate, overly defensive.

If it's wariness of the whole sexual tension/friend thing, how about you get to know some gay friends through other avenues - work, hobbies, sport, etc...

Gay guys from different backgrounds (age, single/couple,cultural background etc) are also really good for expanding your horizons and outlook too.

Evol Kween said...

Perhaps you need the advice of Michael Bolton?

Victor said...

Mmmmm. To think that I have only just emailed you my number for my Brisbane visit. I better be on my guard!

RG said...

Seems to me, you need a gay best friend.