Monday, October 6, 2008

They should play in the buff...

It's well known that I have an aversion to sport. Don't play it, don't watch it, don't care for it at all. So I am glad to see the back end of the NRL for another season - especially this season.

One of the things that shits me the most is the TV coverage. Chanel Nine has had the NRL for ever, but the crap they go on with is insufferable. The footy show is 90 minutes of pure pain. I'd prefer to have another root canal without anesthetic than watch that bull shit. Men in dresses was funny when Monty Python did it about 30 years ago, but now it just looks homophobic and sad. Get a new joke morons.

Paul Vautin is a cock head of monumental proportions. Have you noticed that when he thinks he's said or done something clever he has a stupid little smirk on his face and does a little head shake. Do you have early stages Parkinson's disease fuck wit? Well, stop it.

And I refuse to refer to him by his nick name - you are 50 years old man. Stop going by the name given to you because you were a fat little cunt at school.

So with this cock head and the rest of the cunts on the Footy Show also heading up the commentary for the games with the addition of Ray Warren, I have to refrain from flinging poo at the TV. The biased commentary, the boring analogies about shit no one cares about, the continual questioning and bagging out of the refereee's calls. THEY JUST MAKE ME SO ANGRY.

And how many "scandals" were there this year? Greg Bird got arrested outside the Uber in Brisbane (BTW - the best cocktails on the planet), Sione Faumuina chucked a glass at mirror in the same bar not too many months later. Then there was the decided lack of action taken against the Bronco's and all their alleged piss head shenanigans the week before they got knocked out of the finals.

Seriously, how did the three guys in the centre of this get on the field the following weekend? Oh that's right, the club was more concerned about staying in the series then actually disiplining a trio of drunk blokes for dangerous and anti-social behaviour that bought the reputation of their club, their sport and their town into disrupte. If they were out of the finals those tools would have been fired on the spot.

Then there's the grand final: a 40 - nil score line is a freaking joke. Seriously, I reckon my Grandmother's Bowls team could score better than that in a first grade grand final. That's why I took a dog for a walk during the whole mess.

But I do have a solution for next year. They need to clone the hotness is that is Mr Cooper Cronk, and fill every team with his hot hot clones. And play in the nude.

Nudity - that's my answer to everything lately.


Kezza said...

I dunno about rugby, but AFL football is pretty much the same deal here. The only thing worth looking at is the photo of the grand final winning team in the showers which gets printed every year without fail and it proves to me that she game should be played naked or at least shirtless. It should also always be played in muddy conditions or jelly.

Anonymous said...

There are much better looking guys than Cooper. What about Lockyer? Why not go for someone with skill and a hot hot bod benny?