They call me Quick Draw McGraw...

My night's out on the town can be rather confusing and drawn out. SO here's last night's events in an easy to read time line format;

11:00pm - Enter the Wickham Hotel with housemate and mate.

11:02pm - Start sucking face with a cute younger gentlemen.

11:10pm - Leave Wickham Hotel with cute younger gentlemen.

9:00am - Cute younger gentlemen leaves my room.

It's been a while, but I even shocked myself with the swiftness of that pickup.

Ps - It was freaking great.

What? No more rectal exams?

Good news everybody! I got my results back from my last round of tests and it appears my naughty prostate has returned to its normal functions. Yay!

The best news of all is that I do not need to go in for a biopsy on my special little pleasure giver - well not yet. My PSA results are still is a bit high for my age group, but it has significantly dropped in the past two weeks. It means I still need to go and have regular check ups with my GP to make sure it doesn't progress any further.

Hmmm... regular rectal exams

Yellow River by I P Freely

Good news everybody! My catheter was removed yesterday morning and my bladder function has returned to normal. Yay! Urinating has never bought me so much joy and happiness.

It was rather a surreal experience... me sitting in the Urology clinic waiting room, surrounded by 70 year old men, waiting to have my tubes and bag removed.

I won't go into all the gory details, but needless to say having two nurses watch you take your first piss in over a week is really nerve wracking.

Fortunately I haven't done any long term damage to my bladder, but I do need to keep an eye on things and have regular checkups with my doctor.

Unfortunately, my prostate still isn't quite right. My 2nd PSA test (Prostate Specific Antigen - apparently its a common thing to look at for cancer pre-cursors) came back abnormally high for my age. And with my prostate still enlarged and my family history of cancer in that area, they are a little bit concerned.

A 31 year old man just doesn't get an infection in that area... it was a little embarrassing having to ask the Urologist if all the vigorous bum fun I've had recently may have been the cause. He was very noncommittal on that answer, and tended to look at the floor while not really answering my question. I think I managed to embarrass him.

So it looks like I may have to have a biopsy in the very near future. Hopefully the drugs I'm taking will work a miracle before I go back to see the specialist again next week.

Once again... I'm way too young for this shit.

Things I have learnt in the past seven days...

This is probably gonna fall into the category of "Too much info thanks Benji"... but suck it up.

• Waiting a week to go and see someone about why you can't piss properly is not smart.
• Drinking 15 or so beers in a session, knowing that you can't piss properly, is down right stupid.
• Waking up after 15 beers and not being able to piss at all is scary.
  
• Hospital gowns do provide a modicum of modesty, and cover your arse just fine.
  
• A female doctor doing a prostate exam is not in the slightest bit erotic
  
• Catheter insertion is not fun.
• Catheter removal is less fun.
• Taking a piss after the catheter has been removed is fucking horrible. I actually screamed.
  
• Going back to the hospital two days later and going through the whole thing again because you woke up this morning not being able to piss is a fucking nightmare.
  

So yes, I am currently at home, with a fucking catheter inserted in my bladder because I'm having some issues going pee pee. It looks like an infected prostate has caused the issues, but they are concerned about me not passing urine for almost a day, and may have over stretched my bladder.

So this fucking piss tube gets to stay shoved up my urethra and stick uncomfortably into my bladder for the next couple of days until I go back to out patients and they check to see if I can actually control my urine flow. And a lovely little bag gets to stay strapped to my leg and catch all of piss that come out. How fucking sexy does that sound?

I'm too young for this sort of shit to be going on.